"Hipster" is really a state of mind

-          Rob, what does HIPSTER mean?

-          In which context? – this always is his first question. I think he just needs time to drift away from Arrhenius plots and readjust his mind...

-          SLURP ME WITH YOUR HIPSTER STRAW.

I wish I could describe the look on his face...

„My name is Graham the Smoothie! Please drink my goofy fruitiness in as maverick a manner as possible! Slurp me with your hipster straw.“

I love things which do not make sense!

Like Caitlin Moran. She is nonsense. Nonsense the way I like it.

She just points out random things without any hesitation and makes you believe, it is absolutely fine to write just for the sake of writing, and to fall in love with words which no one ever uses anymore but you are too desperate to admit it and to make matters worse even try to say something legendary with the word ‚bilious‘. Ouch!

Call me culturally ignorant with my „thrift store words“ and passion of pointing out, but you have to admit it is effortlessly cool being pointedly silly about serious things... this must be hipster, right?

The sentence of the day:

SLURP ME WITH YOUR HIPSTER STRAW.

Cristmas turkey gorging on harmless birds

Gorge on – „Protected sea lions gorge on threatened salmon!” Hm, one of the very first hit google provides on ’gorge on’. Overcoming my prior panic attack I really did give a thought to this. What do you do when a charismatic marine mammal is wreaking havoc by gorging on a threatened species that humans also find delicious? What we always do: kill them all. Well, we are notoriously picky eaters, but a salmon stuffed sea lion sounds as delicious as a Christmas turkey stuffed with 12 birds. All you need is an extremely agresive and hungry turkey or a proper fatass dead turkey and a sick carnivorous mind.

I actually spent hours figuring out the birdy puzzle, judging sizes, looking up not existing species even. And for you all starving for knowledge… tamtaratamtamtamtaaaa (?)

1.      quail

2.      partridge

3.      pigeon squat

4.      poussin

5.      pheasant

6.      mallard

7.      guinea fowl

8.      chicken

9.      aylesbury duck

10.  barbary duck

11.  goose

12.  turkey

All in one, this easy to make recipe (stuff the smaller bird into the bigger one) provides me enough unknown words to make up my delay for my 5-a-day!

None can say I am not treating this matter with the gravity it deserves!

5-A-DAY

No, I am not listing nutritions here. I do count calories though. What I am trying to do is to overcome my sloth-like laziness and learn 5 new English words every single day (more or less) to improve my provincial rhetorical and literal skills. Therefore I am writing blog entries. Not interesting ones. More geek-chic ones. Let’s get started. God, I am hungry!

1.      Humbug – gibberish. God bless you Ebenezer Scrooge, one word less remains for Harry’s new English dictionary. We got enough hanky-panky in the last decade. Bah!

2.      Hoax – like a false report... vendre un canard à moitié – to half sell a duck. Exactly! Like a canard. „What a gem of a word, with an enigmatic and darkly suggestive history behind it.” (at least Ph.D. Octopus thinks so)

3.      Deceive – I don’t know enough verbs. I don’t like them. Way too powerful for my taste.  They often deceive me. I would say things like: Let’s crumble on the bed (yeees, cuddle). Verbs are old impostors!

4.      Diligent – that would be me.

5.      Sassy – that would be Nigella. Oh, no! She is more the goddess of all things dirty and fabulous in food terms. Sassy is a truly gay word (no offence) with the sizzling double ’ss’ on top of your tongue.

You might say now: what a juice? But hey, sooner or later I will finish off the entire English vocabulary and I could have started with words like ’neurotransmitters or essential amino acids’. You just have to suck it up!

The sentence of the day:

You just have to suck it up!